PLOT
I got scammed. Or maybe I let myself get scammed. Truth is, I needed a flashlight for my road trip and this one seemed to be the best. At least this is what a guy with a cowboy hat claimed on the internet. Apart from being the brightest in the world, this flashlight would save me from an imminent natural disaster or bear attack. It would project a blinding stroboscopic light beam into the retinas of my enemy and I could use it to SOS a cargo ship when I find myself stranded on a deserted island. Sure it would help me find my dog at night, but also to free passengers from a flight hijacked by al-Qaeda. This happened to be the freedom flashlight. And because I am drawn to freedom, as much as I was drawn to this marketing campaign, I bought one. With a military-grade, anti-terrorist, tactical flashlight in my possession, I felt safe enough to travel across the USA during the electoral storm of 2016. I just had to let its “thousands of lumens of awesomeness” show me the way.